I think time is doing weird things

It's getting warmer again, and I'm dealing with the stress that breaks me, or seems to, the rest of the year. I can't believe that it's been nearly a year since I dared write blog nonsense, or sense. Where do I go when I put myself away? And could I let myself out now, without too much of a feeling of being sandpapered by a really horrible world? I wrote this to a friend...

'can i stop competing while i hate competition? can i stop looking for approval while figuring the world hates me so it's impossible? answers on a postcard to...'

But it's summer again; over 20 years of being ready for something that doesn't come, for something I push away...